Can we please catch a break?

I would like to think of myself as a pretty private individual. Yes, I share my life through a blog that I try and keep updated with our busy lives, but I don't like talking about stuff that hurts. Problems. Bad situations. Being unhappy. Pain.

Leven and I have had a pretty rough summer. Probably the worse in the past 5 years of being married. And yes, each situation has only made us stronger as a family, a couple and as individuals. I'm going to talk about this only because I want to be able to help someone else out that has been in a similar situation or know of someone who has. Plus I have learned over the years that it's ok to talk about pain and things that upset you. So here goes:

One day back at the beginning of May I took a pregnancy test and it showed that we were pregnant. An hour later we get a call that Leven has skin cancer. Talk about going from a high back down to a low. We were excited about the baby (especially Leven) and we knew we would just cope with his skin cancer. I had a sono done at 7 weeks and saw the heartbeat (my good friend did the sono for me). Everything looked great. We then went on vacation to the beach. The next week I had my first "official" sono with the doctor's office. I knew right away there was something wrong. I have had a child before and have been through all of this. The baby wasn't moving and I never saw a heart beat. But the sono tech isn't allowed to tell us anything. So she tells me to come back 4 hours later to meet with my OB. Really? Those 4 hours were probably the hardest of my life. I knew. Why make me wait? I was just so MAD! Frustrated. Leven and I have waited a long time to even convince ourselves that we want another child. So we finally agree on it and then this happens. So 4 hours later and tons of crying, I met with my doctor and talked with her about my decisions. I decided that I did not want a D&C (Dilation and curettage is used to diagnose or treat various uterine conditions — such as heavy bleeding — or to clear the uterine lining after a miscarriage or abortion. It's a pretty big deal, having been put to asleep). I wanted to pass the baby by myself. She gave me some medication that would make me go into labor quickly and help me pass the baby later that night. I was very familiar with ALL of this because my sister had just lost a baby 3 months earlier. So I was able to talk with her and she helped me get through all of it. That night was something I won't ever forget. I cramped and cramped, lost tons of blood, but eventually figured it was all over by the next day. I was actually pretty ok with it all. I know GOD has a plan for my family and something was wrong with that precious baby. So we picked up our broken hearts and moved forward.

Fast forward....I started my period 4 weeks later and assumed my body was getting itself back to normal. But I wouldn't stop bleeding. After bleeding for 12 days, I knew something had to be wrong. I called my doctor and she wanted me to come in and have blood work done. They wanted to check my HCG level (The pregnancy hormone- The hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (better known as hCG) is produced during pregnancy. It is made by cells that form the placenta, which nourishes the egg after it has been fertilized and becomes attached to the uterine wall) and to make sure the levels were back to normal. I get a call around lunch telling me that I need to come back to the doctor's office for a sono. My HCG level was 1300, which is pretty high considering I'm not pregnant anymore. The sonogram showed that I still had the sac and was measuring at 8 weeks. WTH? Really? So my body thinks I'm still pregnant but there just isn't a baby inside. Crazy, right? Maybe that's why my boobs are still huge and I'm still so tired all the time. I am scheduled to have a D&C tomorrow to finally get this all put behind me. I just pray that this is the only issue. I also can't believe I have gone 6 weeks with the sac still in me and NO infection. So yesterday wasn't a good day for me. I just hate feeling bummed out all the time. And I find myself asking God, why? I feel that between Leven's scare and now all of this we just can't catch a break. I know that things happen for a reason, I really believe this, but come on! Please just let us have some good news for once.

As you lay your head down tonight, please think of me and say a little prayer for Leven and I.

I love pictures that make you think:

Legs anyone?

Stare at the lines on the outside and they will start to straighten up!

Weird. It's a face either way

Look at these pipes. Can you see the "love connection?"

Just cool! It's a drawing on the pavement

Is it safe yet

She put it on FACEBOOK, so I guess it's now safe!

My brother and his wife just found out they are having a little girl!! Yea, for another niece for me. They have two boys, Truitt and Tucker and were dying for a little girl....and so their prayers were answered. Tyler Grace will make her appearance at the end of January! Let's review: Three girls on this side....Taydem, Austyn and now a Tyler. Chrissy said they can be called the Texas Trio. If any of us else have a girl we HAVE to keep this common thread going, right? So let's see...Dallas, Sealy, Katy, Addison, Bailey, Anna, Cooper, Taylor or Victoria! Molly mentioned Big Sandy...(that still makes me laugh!) So a huge congrats to Darin and Chrissy and their new baby girl!

And....she loves it!

My niece, Macy, came to visit us all this past week. They live in Austin and we NEVER see them! We enjoyed having her but missed seeing her sister...hopefully next time Misti can join her. Her last night here, Taydem and I took her to get all of our toes done!!

Taydem started gymnastics last night. Just as I thought, she loved it. I couldn't help but laugh at her the entire time. She's not shy (we all know this) and she's not afraid of anything. There were only 3 girls in her class and the other girls have been going for several months now. So they both knew a little more with what was going on. But still, Taydem was the leader in everything and everytime he asked for a volunteer her hand went up first. So funny! Poor thing also has a little more booty on her than I imagined. She kept digging that leotard out of her butt after every move she made. Towards the end of her class, she kept acting like she had to go potty. But there was know way she was leaving until it was over. I was so afraid she was going to have an accident right in front of everyone. After it was over they got a popsicle. Yup, that did it for her. She can't wait until next week.

Thanks Uncle David for my cool chalk! I have drawn all over the driveway and now sidewalk!

Golfers in TRAINING

Are they not the cutest boys EVER? My nephews are doing golf camp this week! Ready to go.....

Hot Springs and more....

Wow, I need to catch up.

Last week all the family headed to Hot Springs, Arkansas (except Leven, Trever, and Eric). Mom and Dad rented a really nice house on Lake Hamilton for 5 days. I could only come for 2 days since my work schedule is pretty much shot!

I don't think we slowed down the entire time we were there. One day we went to Magic Springs Park. It's pretty neat bc it's combined = Water Park + Amusement Park! I don't do rollar coasters that well. As long as they don't go in circles, I'm fine. Darin forced me on 2 rides that I DID NOT want to go on! We were there for about 2 hours and then the sky decided it wanted to rain THAT DAY! We spent about an hour in an ice cream parlor waiting for everything to calm down. Needless to say, the sky never cleared up and we had to head home early! boo for rain that day!!

That night Dustin and Darin rented a boat and we took it out on the lake. We heard about a restaurant right on the water and decided to try it out! The view was nice, but the food wasn't!

The next day we headed downtown Hot Springs to check out all the little shops and feel the hot hot water! Thanks to Mom and Dad for a wonderful VACA with the family! Look at all the kiddos! Growing up way too fast!

This is what we do...All.The.Time

Taydem loves for me to video her. Then she snatches my phone and runs to her room where she watches it over and over again. I can always hear her laughing at herself! She's so dang cute!

She starts gymnastics next week. I'm sure I will have plenty more videos to post of her.

FYI: She dresses herself....I promise!

He can grow anything

As long as I can remember, there has always been a garden in my life. For many many years my grandfather (who lives down the street from my parents) grew a garden. Our most favorite thing out of his garden were his watermelons. My dad put a garden behind out house several years ago, but he mainly planted tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, etc. Just the small stuff.  A couple of years ago my grandfather just couldn't do it anymore. Right now he has hit a rough spot in his life and is just barely even getting around. He's almost 90! (Please keep him in your prayers, and my poor Meme)

My dad decided he wouldn't grow a garden behind our house this year but decided to use my Papaw's garden space. Let me tell you...he has really worked hard to keep this food alive. TEXAS has been crazy hot and dry and that's not very good weather for a garden. Monday afternoon late, Tay and I went to my parents to help them pick Purple Hull Peas. I think my dad had 5 rows planted. We picked and picked until our backs hurt. I took home a trashbag full and we began "shellin!" Thank goodness Leven (and Trever, oh and Taydem!) helped me out some. It took us two nights and we ended up with 10 quart size bags. This will last us for a while. So last night we had our first little batch. We cooked steaks on the grill, baked potatoes and our delicious PEAS! Loved them!

My dad's garden also contains WATERMELONS and CANTALOUPES! We will have watermelons for the rest of the summer. I think I was born eating a watermelon. I love those things. So GOOD JOB to my dad and all his hard work (oh yeah, my mom helps him out a lot!). Maybe one day I will take over the garden duties for the family.

Let's compare...shall we

Here are a few pictures of us 4 as kiddos and now our kids. Who do you think looks like who?



Aidan looks just like Dustin! Sorry Darin, but both your boys look just like their Momma to me! Sometimes I look at Ashby and see Darin. Taydem is a good mixture of Leven and I. People that knew me as a little girl would say she looks nothing like me. If you didn't know us, then you would say she looks just like me!

Happy Hump Day Folks!

Wear SUNSCREEN

(Graphic picture below!!!!!) Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remember that song? Well we always called it the sunscreen song. Let me refresh your memory. This song came out my senior year (Class of '99!) so I remember this song very well.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

So let's all say the very last sentence of this song together: BUT TRUST ME ON THE SUNSCREEN!

It seems more and more of my friends and family are getting skin cancer these days. And yes, there are several different types of skin cancer, some more serious then others, BUT it's still cancer. My husband has been the latest victim of this. We found out back in May that he had Basal Cell skin cancer and this morning he had it removed. Way worse then we thought it would be. He went in around 7:45 and was out by 8:00. They removed, he thought, about a quarter size from his face and they told him to come back at 9:00 to make sure they got it all. Well they hadn't. So they went deeper and wider and hopefully took care of the tumor. (yes, all cancer, all types is still called a tumor). So Leven just HAD to take a picture of his wound. (Don't look below if you have a queezy stomach). It is so gross....a very OMG picture! The doctor even took this picture for him. He got it stitched up and hopefully it will heal up good. It's so important now days to wear sunscreen. Think about your future. Your loved ones. Lather up friends! (maybe the picture below will help remind you to lather up!) And one more thing....if you have an unusual spot show up on your body and won't go away...have it checked out. Large moles that are raised above the skin...have them checked out. If you have never even been to a dermatologist...GO! Let the doctor check out your whole body! Better safe then sorry!